


The Price for Living

by MadameMunt



Category: Elyza Lex (Fanverse), Fear the Walking Dead (TV), The 100 (TV), The 100 Series - Kass Morgan, clexa - Fandom
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst and Tragedy, Being Lost, Character Death, Clexa, Crossover Pairings, Crossovers & Fandom Fusions, F/F, Falling In Love, Families of Choice, Guilt, Moral Dilemmas, Soul-Searching, Survivor Guilt, Zombie Apocalypse
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-03
Updated: 2017-10-18
Packaged: 2018-12-10 13:15:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 14,349
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11692407
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MadameMunt/pseuds/MadameMunt
Summary: Alicia Clark is all alone. She has been for-she can't even remember how long it's been. After witnessing the death of everyone she loves, Alicia took to wandering aimlessly by herself, never in one spot for too long. She shuffled about like one of the living dead, trapped in a world of gray and red until a survivor named Costia found her and convinced her to come back to her village. It's there that Alicia starts to find herself slowly becoming a person again, but despite her newfound growing happiness, there is still something missing in her heart; her life. She still hasn't found home. That is, until a chance encounter with an Australian blonde bombshell named Elyza Lex.As the two get to know each other, the ever present dangers of the outside world threaten to destroy their homes and lives. Not all danger comes from the Walking Dead, and not all dangers come from outside the walls of their home. Faced with decisions that threaten to destroy lives, in a world that want's to ravish you, Alicia and Elyza must face the question: What is the Cost of Death? What is the Price for Living?





	1. Survivor's Guilt

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fanfic, so I'm excited and nervous haha. It will be from multiple perspectives, but ultimately focus on Alicia and Elyza. I intend for this to be kind of like a tragedy, but not quite traditionally so. Hrmm, uh, bear with me and I would love any type of feedback that you'd be willing to share. If you care, I was listening to Massive Attack's album Mezzanine when I was creating this story and writing it. Fun fact #1 for ya. I hope you all enjoy the reading! (Oh yeah, I don't own any of these characters, et cetera, et cetera.)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alicia is all alone, wandering east as she reflects on all the events that have led her there. She suffers survivor's guilt and tries to move forward. Whilst paging through her memories, she stumbles across a survivor named Costia.

The buzzing in her ears was so loud, that sometimes Alicia forgot that there were living dead things surrounding her. She got lost in the intense ringing in her ears, focusing on it mindlessly, being comforted by it's white noise. It drowned out the overwhelming silence that had consumed the world after the dead had risen; the oppressive silence that now haunted them all. Sometimes, the tinnitus was so loud that Alicia thought something in her head was going to snap, like a kettle that had reached it's boiling point and was whistling at you to do something about it. Do what though? What could she do? It's not like she could unhear all the gunshots fired off next to her. It's not like she could unhear all the screams, all the cries for help, all the sounds of muscles and flesh being torn apart as the dead feasted......

A low groan and the sound of nails scrapping against metal made Alicia finally open her eyes. Or, they would have opened if they had been closed to begin with. Slowly, Alicia's surroundings came into focus. Weird. She didn't remember spacing out, but that seemed to be happening a lot lately. Especially after...her mother...No. She was doing it again. Focus. Focus. Deep breaths. A quite mind is a peaceful mind. A quite mind is a peaceful mind.

Another moan traveled to Alicia's ears. Two so far then. She could handle two roaming nightmares. 

Without getting up from where she laid in the back of a 1500 Sierra, Alicia ignored the intruders a little longer, staring at the clouds in the sky. The sky, that was once beautiful to her, was now always gray. When it had happened, Alicia hadn't noticed. She wanted to be bothered by it, but there was nothing left in her to care. There was nothing left except guilt. Guilt at being alive, when everyone she ever loved was dead.

She was so alone.

She had no family.

She had no home.

Vision blurring, Alicia thought she was drifting again, and was mildly surprised to feel hot tears slide down the sides of her face and into her hair. She didn't bother to wipe them away. She didn't want to move really. What was the point? She should have died with the rest of them. It was her idea to check out the school for supplies. Her curiosity to see if she could fit in a locker and jump out at the right time to scare her brother. Her childish games that got her stuck in a locker. Her panic. Her stupid mistakes. Her fault. It was all her fault that they were dead. If the brunette had been more serious, maybe she would have discovered the gymnasium just down and around the hall filled with the walking dead. Alicia could have heard their collective groans and gone to investigate. She would have seen that the chains binding the doors closed were about to snap. Alicia could have had time to warn everyone; Alicia could have saved everyone. 

The Sierra rocked a little as another non living body pressed up against the side of the truck. Two and a half pairs of arms extended over the back, clawing at the air desperately in a vain attempt to reach Alicia. The truck was high enough that it caught the dead under their armpits, impeding them enough that Alicia remained where she was still laying. This time, the brunette focused her dull green eyes on the horrors before here. Normally, the urge to re-kill zombies or flee would be so strong that Alicia was sure she was going to vomit or OD on her own adrenaline. Now however, she couldn't even summon the anger and hate she felt as they were tearing her family to pieces. She should be dead with the rest of them. Maybe this was to be her fate.

One of the dead, that appeared to be the remains of what was once an attractive woman, reached out a little further and grazed the steel toe of Alicia's right boot. It howled louder, motivated by the contact. The other two seemed to pick up on the once woman's success, redoubling their own efforts. Mangled fingers brushed Alicia's kneecaps, but not enough to inflict actual damage. Their fingers brushed the brunette's shoulders, and this time Alicia decided to do something. She whipped out her balisong and freed the blade with practiced effortlessness, plunging the blade into the eye of the monster that offended her in one fluid motion. Sighing deeply that her tentative equanimity had been interrupted, Alicia stood up and kicked the one armed walker in it's skull. It reminded her of watching a watermelon hit the ground. The last roamer she took out with a dagger that had been hidden in her sleeve. With a flick of her wrist, Alicia easily flung the knife into the roamers temple, retrieving the blade after she had grabbed her backpack and jumped out of the truck. The brunette wiped the coagulated blood off on the fallen's clothes, and replaced her dagger, searching each biter thoroughly before walking off into the woods.

Ever since the incident at the school, Alicia had been vaguely making her way east and north. She knew California was gone, but maybe there was something out east, even though the saying went, "Go west young man." She had never been to New York. Maybe she would head that way, even though a part of Alicia knew that it was probably in similar condition to LA and all the major cities in the states. With nowhere to go, Alicia had thrown a dart blindfolded at a map on the wall, deciding she would go where ever it landed. When she had unveiled herself, she saw that it was stuck in a state near the Great Lakes. Indiana. What the hell was in Indiana? Corn? Nascar? Or was that Florida? Too bad she couldn't Google questions anymore. Too bad the slim girl didn't have a GPS to help her navigate there. Luckily, she could read a map, but for the most part, Alicia was content with ambling east and north. It's not like she had anything to do anymore, or anyone to worry about.

Taking a swig of water, Alicia headed deeper into the woods, unaffected by it's idyllic scenery. It was faster to travel on the roads, but doing that meant potentially running into other survivors. It meant confrontation. It meant that she would have to try and trust another living person, hoping they didn't want to end her life or rob her blind. Besides, it also meant she was more likely to run into the monsters that had ended civilization. Even though she was stuck in her own fog of thoughts, and even though she thought she deserved to die, Alicia couldn't go against the instinct to survive, and she was a survivor. Sometimes she hated it, the will to survive. Things would be simpler if she could just give up and give in to the sinking hollowness in her gut. Why did she have to survive? Why was she allowed to live when her mother and friends were dead? Was it some sort of cruel joke? Not being able to have her mother, now that she finally wanted Madison to be here for her and tell her daughter that everything was all ok?

A deep sob was threatening to crawl it's way out of Alicia's throat, and she took another swig of water to try and push it down. She tried to still herself and cut off her emotions. She tried to ignore the tremors rattling her entire body and squeezing her chest too tight. Tried to ignore the fact that she was having a panic attack. Everything was so wrong and fucked up. Everything was turning white and Alicia noticed her fingertips were tingling with numbness. She wanted to scream, to thrash, to smash her head repeatedly against the trunk she was hugging until everything in her brain stopped. It felt like it was never going to end. Her thoughts were racing too fast. Too fast.

"A quite mind is a peaceful mind," Alicia murmured under her breath. Sometimes saying it out loud helped more.

After a time, Alicia felt her heartbeat calm down and she let go of the tree, using it to push herself back to her feet. She continued walking, focusing on the sound of her footsteps, which seemed deafening. Frowning slightly, the brunette slowed her pace ever so slightly and concentrated on making her steps lighter. There. That was better. Now her footsteps were half as loud. The corners of her full lips twitched into an attempt of a smile. There was a momentary sense of accomplishment before Alicia was stricken with a new wave of guilt. She didn't deserve to be happy. How can she be happy? She was the reason they were all dead.

Alicia struggled to push the thoughts out of her mind and kept moving forward, no longer attempting to soften her steps. If there was a fate to be met, she would meet it. The wind blew through the leaves, and Alicia finally noticed that the air smelled different. Not so dry like in California. It was richer, earthier even. She could almost smell the cold on the wind. Looking around, Alicia noticed that the trees indeed looked different. There were more coniferous trees, and the deciduous trees were starting to shed their leaves. Wait, weren't trees green? Why did they look like shades of gray to her? Had they always been this way? Suddenly, Alicia realized she had no idea where she was, or even what state. In fact, the more she thought about it, she couldn't recall how long she had been wandering alone. It felt like a life time, but it couldn't have been more than two or three months. Surely it didn't take that long to walk to Indiana right? But then again, she had spent a few days getting shit faced in shitty motels and lying about waiting for death, so who knows. Maybe if the brunette had spent less time trapped in her thoughts, she would have noticed the seasons change along with her surroundings. Sighing, Alicia decided she would have to start doing better. She didn't want to, but what else was she going to do. Give up? It's not like anything was going to get worse from here on out, right? 

Refocusing her green eyes, Alicia realized she had been lost in thought again for a few hours. The sun was sinking, and casting dark shadows all around the girl. If she didn't stop soon, Alicia would be parading around in the dark, subject to the dead and rolled ankles alike. As if to reinforce her decision, the brunette's stomach let out a growl in protest. Come to think of it, when was the last time she ate? Finding a level spot near a large oak tree, Alicia began to set up a perimeter around her small camp to warn her if any of the dead decided to wander over to her. After she was satisfied, the brunette went about collecting sticks and branches that looked large enough to burn for more than a few minutes. She used her boot knife to whittle some of the small sticks into tinder and kindling, before rummaging around in her backpack to locate the flint. Her brother had given her that knife. Once she found what she was she was looking for, Alicia slid the knife's blade down the side of the flint, causing little sparks to fly out. Alicia repeated the motion until a few sparks caught onto the tinder, glowing a faint red.There was a strange comfort to it. She pulled her hair out of the way and lowered herself near the tinder, slowly and gently blowing on the embers, coaxing them to grow bigger and brighter until the kindling was starting to catch fire. Once she knew the fire wouldn't go out, Alicia added some larger pieces of wood to the fire and leaned back against a tree, staring at her little creation in front of her.

Sitting there, staring at the flames, Alicia felt her mind drifting back in time as she was snacking on some crackers...

..."ALICIA!!!" she heard her brother shout.

Rattling against the confined quarters of the locker she had stuffed herself into, Alicia winced as she heard her voice crack as she called out to her brother, "NICK! IN HERE! HELP!"  
Moment's later, Alicia saw Nick through the vents in the locker she was trapped in. She had never felt more relieved to see him.

"How'd you wind up in there?" he questioned, more than amused. 

Alicia rolled her eyes, forgetting for a moment that he probably couldn't see her. "I was gonna jump out and scare you when you passed by, but then I got myself locked in here. Help me out."

Nick raised his eyebrows. "You know, for a smart girl you have some pretty dumb ideas. What if I was so scared that I hit you upside the dead with this bat? Huh? Didja think about that?"

For once Alicia was glad that she was hidden. Her brother couldn't see her embarrassed red face. "I know, it was silly and stupid, now let me out! Please, Nick!"

"Well, since you asked so nicely and all."

Nick rattled the lock a few times then frowned, letting out a quite, "Uh oh," before glancing at the vents where Alicia's eyes were. "I don't suppose you know the combination, do ya?"

A frustrated growl escaped Alicia's lips. 

"Whoa, whoa, easy there baby sis. I'll go find something to get you out of there. Be back in a jiff."

Nick started to turn around but stopped when he heard his name ripped from his sister's mouth.

Her first mistake and regret.

"NICK!" Alicia screamed, fear clawing at her stomach as she saw a giant lumbering biter lunge after her brother. Where had it come from?

"Hey, hey, it's all gonna be ok. I'll be right b-" 

The giant zombie delved forward as soon as Nick had turned back to face his sister, sinking it's yellow teeth into Nick's shoulder. Blood began to seep through and stain his white shirt. Nick twisted and threw the zombie into the locker Alicia was caught in, using every once of his strength to smash the walker's head in. He was heaving ragged breaths, shaking unsteadily as he straightened himself out. A big chunk of his shoulder was missing. He glanced at where he heard sobs escaping his sister, giving her a weak smile. "Just a flesh wound," he wheezed. This only made Alicia cry harder. He was bit. That meant only one thing.

"Nick," Alicia choked through her tears.

"Sit tight and I'll be back with help," he said, trying to reassure his sister.

There was a snap that echoed around the corner, and the sound of doors being flung open. A distant roar followed it, filled with a chorus of the living dead, screaming in protest. All the mismatched noises creating one cacophonous nightmarish ensemble for the desires of the dead. They didn't want repose, they wanted to feed. They wanted to kill, and it chilled Alicia to the core of her being. It sounded like hundreds of zombies, and they were starting to pile around the corner and into sight. Alicia saw Nick's face sink, and saw as he tried to quickly cover himself in the blood and guts of the zombie pinning the locker door shut. He glanced at Alicia and said quickly, "Stay there. You're safe. There are too many. I'm going to get help."

"Nick, wait," Alicia pleaded.

Nick turned to look at his sister, for what neither of them knew would be the last time. "Hmm?" he asked.

"I love you."

That signature smirk, "You too sis."

Then he was gone, and Alicia was alone....

.....Coming back from her thoughts, Alicia hadn't noticed that she had begun crying. More like sobbing actually. She was so lost in her own grief, that she didn't notice as a stranger came slowly up to her little camp, hands held up in surrender until a voice called out, "Hey. Are you alright?"

Reflexively, Alicia jumped to her feet and pulled out a pistol that lived on the side of her thigh, aiming the barrel at the intruder.

"I mean you no harm. I heard crying so I came over to investigate. May I join you by the fire?"

The stranger moved a little closer to the fire, slowly ebbing into the light. It was a girl, around her own age with dark brown hair in braids and brown eyes. She was smiling to try and show that she wasn't a threat, ignoring the gun in her face and choosing to stare Alicia in the eyes. She was waiting for Alicia to say something, but instead of speaking, Alicia lowered the pistol and nodded silently, sitting back down. 

"I have two rabbits that I caught earlier, if you'd like to have some," the girl offered in peace.

Alicia said nothing, continuing to watch the stranger.

"Are you ok?" the girl tried a different angle.

"Is anyone?" Alicia sneered, a little surprised she spoke.

The girl swallowed hard and decided to change the subject as she began cleaning the rabbits.

"Where you from?"

"Nowhere."

Silence again.

"Where you going?"

"Indiana."

The girl turned to peer into Alicia's green eyes. "Well congrats, you made it. Let me be the first one to welcome you. Anywhere specific in Indiana?"

Alicia merely shrugged. The stranger put the rabbits in the fire, and neither of them spoke while the meat was cooking. Soon, the smells wafted over to Alicia and she felt her stomach starting to rumble again. The stranger giggled and Alicia frowned. How could anyone be happy? The girl took one of the sticks with a rabbit and handed it to Alicia, waiting patiently until the green eyed girl reluctantly took it. "Thanks," Alicia offered lamely.

"You're very welcome, Miss...?"

"Alicia. Alicia Clark."

"It's a pleasure to meet you Alicia. My name is Costia Del Bosque. Do you mind if I sleep here tonight as well? I can keep first watch if you'd like."

For the longest time, Alicia remained silent, deliberating on what to say. Could she really trust this stranger? Then again, nothing bad had happened yet. Yet. She studied the other girl briefly and decided she could take her out if push came to shove, and it appeared that Costia didn't have a gun. Maybe she would try this one time. 

"Sure. I guess you can, if you want."

Costia smiled wide and Alicia felt herself grow suspicious.

"What?"

Costia grinned again and commented, "That's the first time you've said more than two words to me."

A light blush crept to Alicia's cheeks and she turned her attention back to the fire. She was done eating, and was starting to second guess her decision. Was it too late to tell Costia to leave? Did she actually want to be alone any more? No, but maybe she deserved it. Maybe she was doomed to be alone.

"I'm going to go to sleep. Wake me when it's my turn to keep watch."

Costia smiled softly and nodded, adding more wood to the fire.

Alicia laid down, and for the first time in awhile, she didn't have trouble falling asleep. For the first time in awhile, she didn't see the deaths of everyone she loved in her dreams.


	2. Little Changes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alicia opens up to Costia over coffee.

Silver rays of the dawn were stretching their fingers through the darkness of the forest. Gently they touched Alicia's eyelids, causing her to slowly wake up. There was a brief moment of panic as Alicia recalled what had transpired last night; that she was not alone. As quietly as she could, the brunette sat up, trying to asses her surroundings without alerting the other girl. To her astonishment, Costia was sitting next to the fire, concentrating on a small pot in the fire. Brown eyes flicked over to green ones as the stranger smiled briefly, looking back to her pot.

"Morning. Do you like coffee? I'm afraid it's not the greatest, but hey, caffeine is caffeine, right?"

"You're making coffee?" Alicia asked after clearing her throat. She stood up and stretched her lithe body before moving over to watch what the other girl was doing.

Costia laughed and pulled the boiling pot off the fire, setting it in the dirt next to her. She pulled out a water bottle and poured some of it's contents into a cap, dumping that cap into the pot of coffee. "It's chemistry, or so I've been told. The cold water pushes all the coffee grounds to the bottom. I'm honestly not sure how it works, but it does. Want some?" the stranger explained whilst filling two cups. She raised it for Alicia to take, waiting patiently as ever.

Without a word, Alicia took the cup, taking a deep whiff, trying to capture the aroma. Before the world had ended, she hadn't really drank coffee, opting more for latte's or cappuccinos. Somehow, it was comforting, holding onto something warm. Taking a sip, Alicia nearly frowned, fighting the urge to react to the bitterness. The coffee had a hearty, robust taste. Maybe cream and sugar would have helped. Both girls sipped their coffee, enjoying the silence.

"You didn't wake me," Alicia finally said, handing the cup back to Costia.

The other girl refilled it and handed it back, staring intently into green eyes before shrugging, saying, "I figured you could use the sleep. You looked exhausted."

Alicia took another sip of her coffee, not sure how to respond. The taste was starting to grow on her, just a little.

"So," continued Costia, "How are you feeling today?"

Shrugging again, Alicia kept her gaze on the fire. She wasn't in the greatest mood, and definitely didn't want to talk about it. She hadn't realized she spoke out loud until she heard her voice say," The same as yesterday. The same as the past few months."

Nodding, Costia glanced over at her again, studying her. Alicia shifted uncomfortably. Why was this girl so nice to her?

"Any plans for today?" Costia asked casually.

Green eyes shot up to stare at brown ones, narrowing slightly in suspicion. Costia felt a little shiver run through her spine. She had the most intense eyes. They were back to silence again, but Costia was patient. She was a hunter after all. 

"Why are you so nice?" Alicia finally asked, ignoring Costia's question. 'When are you going to fuck me over?' came her thoughts afterwards.

"Because the world needs it. Because I care. Because I hate seeing people upset," the brown eyed girl responded simply with a smile.

The answer received a snort from Alicia. There were no good people left. All the good ones were dead.

"You don't agree?" Costia asked.

"It doesn't matter if I agree or not. My experience so far has enlightened me as to the true nature of people," Alicia responded darkly. For a moment she was looking out from the locker again, staring at the sea of blood and corpses before her. Watching helplessly as her mother was being ripped apart like a bag of chips, watching Ophelia turn to abandon them all, only to be surrounded by a group of the living dead in her attempts to flee. Watching everyone in the group panic and turn on each other, trying to push one another out of the way so that they could live, even though none of them did.

"Alicia? Alicia? Are you ok?" came a vague and fuzzy voice.

Startled, Alicia looked at Costia and realized the other girl was kneeling before her, hands gently resting on the brunette's shoulders. It seem's she was spacing out again. Normally she would have quickly pulled away from any stranger that dared laid hands on her, if not something a little more drastic, but for some reason it bothered her less coming from Costia. Unless the girl was a good actress, it seemed like she was indeed a good natured person. Or at least, not a vicious one.

"Why do you care?" Alicia spat, suddenly angry that some girl she's never met before was taking such an interest in her. That definitely meant she wanted something from her, right? Wait, was she just angry? That was...more than nothing...

Removing her hands awkwardly, Costia tried and failed to hide the hurt in her eyes. She wen't back to her spot across the fire and glanced up through her eyelashes at Alicia, pouting ever so slightly. "I just, I do ok? I did just tell you that I cant stand it when people are upset. You are clearly upset about something."

More anger was swelling in Alicia's stomach. What did this girl know about anything? 

Costia's eyes darkened with pain, and Alicia realized once again that she had been spacing out, saying that last part out loud.

"I-I don't know. I don't know hardly anything about you, but I can tell that it's killing you slowly inside. If you opened up and talked to me, maybe I could help. We are all in this together. It's not like it's all sunshine and rainbows anymore, but I'd like to think we can still have those things. We have all lost people. We have all seen death," the huntress said softly.

"Have you watched everyone you have ever loved die right before your eyes?" Alicia asked, her tone dark and dangerous.

Costia paled, but didn't break eye contact, responding, "No. Just my father so far, and a few people I only kind of knew."

"How lucky for you."

They sat in silence as the fire died down and the sky became illuminated, bringing sounds of birds and other insects with it. A beam of light hit the leaves above where Alicia was sitting, and Costia almost lost her breath. Even sullen and bereaved, the brunette seemed to make everything around her majestic and magical. She seemed at peace in nature, even though Costia was pretty sure her new friend was unaware of it. And yes, she was going to make Alicia her friend. There was an air of tragedy around the brunette that made Costia want to sooth her, and make her happy. She wanted the other girl to be ok.

"I'm sorry," Alicia blurted quite suddenly.

Costia caught her gaze and gave her a questioning look, being the silent one for once.

Alicia unconsciously pouted, biting at her lower lip, struggling with what she was trying to say next. "I'm sorry that I'm being brusque. I haven't been around another person in months, and I haven't been myself for longer then that. I know you only mean well. It's just...there's so much pain, and numbness, and guilt." 

Something in Costia's heart twinged, telling her to reach out to the other girl, to comfort her. She didn't say anything, not wanting to cut Alicia off by accident, or say something to make her close up again. Not after the brunette had exposed this much. When it became obvious she was not going to say anything more, Costia tentatively asked, "Do you wanna talk about it?"

Green eyes were staring at the red leaves in the trees with such intensity, Costia wondered if the girl had spotted a ghost. Alicia's jaw slackened as her thought's receded into the depths of her mind, all the light leaving her eyes, making them dull once again. Tears started to pour from her eyes, and she began whispering to herself so quietly that Costia had to strain her ears just to hear the repeated words, "A quite mind is a peaceful mind."

Alicia became racked with sobs, shaking uncontrollably and rocking back and forth. She was digging her nails into the palms of her hands, drawing blood, whispering to herself with more intensity and frequency. Alarmed, Costia rose and moved to the other girls side, throwing her arms around her and pulling her into an embrace. She started to rub Alicia's back, while simultaneously trying to stroke her hair and whisper comforting words in her ear. Somehow Alicia smelled like mint, and it was making Costia light headed. She shook those thoughts away. Right now she needed to focus on the crying girl in her arms.

"It's all my fault," Alicia bawled. "It's all my fault they're dead."

"Shh, shh. It's not your fault sweetheart. I'm here. I'm here for you," Costia said in comfort.

Somewhere in the back of Alicia's mind, she knew Costia was wrong, but despite herself, she could feel herself calming down. The touch of another person was soothing, and Alicia had forgotten how much she longed for it; how much she needed physical comfort. 

"There we go, that's better," Costia whispered into Alicia's hair. "What happened, if I may ask?"

Alicia didn't want to tell her, she wasn't ready to, so instead she gave a half truth. "I saw a color, for the first time in I don't know how long. I saw that the leaves are red."

Red. Like all the blood. 

Costia must have caught on to Alicia's evasive answer, because she didn't pursue the deeper truth to that statement. Instead, she asked, "What have you been seeing?"

Alicia heard the unasked question. She told another half truth. "Gray, mostly. Shades of gray, in a world of black and white."

Sighing, Costia loosened her hold on the brunette. She untangled herself and sat cross-legged, facing Alicia. She desperately wanted to ask her something.

"What is it?" Alicia asked, catching on to Costia's shift in mood.

Taking a deep breath, Costia blurted out, "I want you to come back to my village with me."

For a long moment, Alicia just stared at Costia, unsure if she had heard the other girl correctly. "What?" she asked finally.

The huntress studied Alicia before continuing, "I live in a village about three days walk from here. Well, I don't know that village is the right term. Maybe a glorified refugee camp? There are about a hundred of us there, with new people arriving every few weeks. We have farm's and gardens, and even something resembling society. It's safe there, and I want you to come back with me. I think it would do you good."

Alicia was lost for words. Every time she had ever been in a "civilized" camp, it never lasted long. There was always something lurking in the shadows, waiting to destroy any peace and happiness she found. Waiting for her presence, before it answered with death.

Seeming to catch her mood, Costia added, "Look, just come with me. If you don't want to stay, you don't have to. What have you got to lose?"

She was right. Alicia had nothing left that mattered to her. Nothing left to give; nothing left to lose. Again, it's not like she had any plans or anything. It had been awhile since she was around other people. It had been awhile since she felt anything other then numbness and guilt. What's the worse that could happen? Maybe it was time for a change. Waiting for death to come for her could be done anywhere. The logical side of her mind told Alicia that this was the right thing to do, that she needed this if she was ever going to move on and move past what had transpired in the school. The other side of Alicia's mind told her that she didn't deserve a chance at something new. Why should she get to be happy?  
Being alive wasn't reason enough for the brunette.

Something changed incrementally in Alicia. 

Logic won. This time.

"Ok," was all Alicia said.

Shock changed to happiness, as what Alicia said finally sank into Costia's mind. She grinned so wide, her face hurt, excitement starting to bubble in her chest. She was so relieved that the slim girl hadn't outright told her no. There was hope then, that she could heal the broken girl before her.

"I'm so happy you said yes. I truly think you'll like it there. As soon as we pack up we can leave."

Alicia scoffed, asking, "You're actually happy?"

"Yes."

"How? Why?"

With a secretive smile, Costia glanced at Alicia out of the corner of her eye, searching for green ones before she admitted, "Because I met you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone, thanks for sticking with me so far. There is SO MUCH I want to write about in this story. And don't worry, Elyza and Alicia will meet soon enough. This writing thing takes longer than you would suspect, but I'll try to keep up with it and keep posting regularly. Comments? Questions? Critiques? Oh yeah, you all deserve another fun fact. Fun fact #2, from Tijuana to Indianapolis, it would take about 28 days to walk, if you went as the crow flies. And you know, didn't starve or get lost or chased by the undead. Stay tuned for the next chapter!


	3. The Village

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alicia meet's other survivors.

The journey back to Costia's village took three days, just as the huntress had said. They had taken minimal breaks, mostly stopping to eat and sleep. Each night, Alicia awoke from nightmares, only to find Costia there, offering soft words of encouragement. It still felt odd to wake up and find someone there, but it was something the brunette could get used to. It felt, dare she say it, good to know you weren't alone. Along the way, Costia had shown Alicia how to make simple traps for small game, and how to look for differences in trails; how to spot the difference between trails used for navigation, and trails used for feeding. Alicia learned about some of the local berries and plants, and how to check to see if something was poisonous, if unsure. 

"This takes a really long time," Alicia commented the first time, waiting to see if the berry she picked had any reaction to her skin.

Costia smiled, patient as ever, commenting, "It's better then being poisoned, and potentially dying."

The brunette had no argument.

"Besides," the huntress continued, "This is only the first step."

Alicia sighed, but persevered.

For three days, much of their conversation and interactions were similar. Costia taught Alicia how to live off the land, and Alicia absorbed every word, as if her life depended on it. The brunette was a fast learner, committing most things to memory the first time anything was explained to her. It was a talent she possessed even before this nightmare began. It wasn't until the third day that the two girls began to have normal conversation.

"So, are you excited?" Costia asked, inspecting her fingernails.

"Pardon?" Alicia responded, brows slightly furrowed.

Costia giggled before explaining, "My village silly! Are you excited to see the village? Meet some of my friends?"

With a half frown, the brunette answered dryly, "Excitement would be an overstatement. I am curious as to what I will find. You said I could leave if I wanted to, right?"

For a second, Costia faltered and disappointment flashed across her face. She had grown fond of this lost stray in their short time together, and would be sad to see her go. She wanted to nurture the girl and help her grow stronger. Her soul was hurting, and Costia wanted to mend it.

"Of course," she said instead.

Alicia simply nodded. She was silent a moment before summoning a little bit of effort and asking, "What's your village like?"

The huntress turned to face Alicia and smiled, sweeping her left arm around to show her the way. 

"Why don't you see for yourself? Welcome to Camp Jaha."

As the girls made their way through the final treeline, they stepped into a clearing that revealed the largest amount of people Alicia had seen in a long time. There had to be over 100 people here. It almost felt overwhelming after spending all those months alone. The sounds of chatter, like nothing was wrong with the world. Children laughing and playing games they invented, not afraid that at any moment they could die. That there were still kids around was almost too much for Alicia to handle. She hadn't gotten to be a kid. Not with Nick always getting into something, and definitely not since after the apocalypse. Nick...

"Everything ok?" Costia asked, a hand on Alicia's shoulder.

Green eyes came back into focus and peered at brown ones. Taking a deep breath to calm herself, Alicia counted to ten before she looked at Costia and nodded answering, "Yeah I'm ok. I just needed a moment. Actually, I still need one."

The huntress sat down and leaned back against a tree, motioning for Alicia to do the same. Wordlessly the brunette followed suit. As they sat in silence, Alicia studied what she could see of their camp. A wooden fence ran along most of the town's perimeter, with some metal scraps used as extra defense, and multiple cheval de frise stationed near the gates that led in. There were two guardsmen at the gate with spears, and two archers in the ramparts above, standing vigilant. A few more walked the perimeter, but all in all it didn't look super defensible. Still, it was better than no protection.

"What should I expect?" Alicia asked, still watching the guards.

Shrugging, Costia responded, "Some respite. You'll eventually meet Wells. He run's the camp. Him and his father started this place, but his father has passed, so it's mostly just Wells now. I'll introduce you to some of my friends, but it's up to you mostly. If you do want to stay, you'll eventually be assigned a job so that you can contribute to the community."

With a nod, Alicia rose and spoke, "I'm ready."

Costia hopped to her feet lightly and began towards the front gate, Alicia in tow. When they were withing arrow distance, Costia called out, "It's Costia! I bring a friend!"

Friend. When was the last time Alicia had one of those?

One of the archers called out to someone behind the walls, and sure enough, the wooden gate was rolled sideways to allow them entrance. As they were going to pass, one of the guards stepped forward and said, "Wait a minute. I need to inspect you for unauthorized weapons."

Green eyes flicked to the huntress, and Costia nodded in encouragement. Alicia looked back at the guard and gave a stiff nod. He stepped forward and immediately removed her pistol from her thigh. The guard gave her a quick pat down, ignoring her blades, and once he had confirmed that she had no more hidden weapons, stepped back to his post.  
"This will be held in custody unless you leave the walls, or until you have acquired a notarized note from the Captain of the Guard declaring otherwise."

Nodding her assent, the guard motioned for the girls to pass. As they entered, Alicia was surrounded by a sea of overwhelmed senses. People were walking to their business, talking to others. A hog was roasting over a spit somewhere, and Alicia could feel herself salivate in hunger. It smelled so good. There were pockets of laughter, the smell of tilled earth, a few...chickens? There were chickens. There were also sounds of steel clashing off in the distance, with undertones of yells and cries. From that direction came bounding a girl with silky black hair in braids and a sword strapped to her back.

"Costia! You're back!" the girl exclaimed, hugging her friend. 

"Hey O, good to see you. I have a new friend I want you to meet," Costia smiled, stepping aside to expose Alicia who was silently watching the other two girls.

O stepped forward and extended her right hand, holding it out for Alicia to take. "Greetings, I'm Octavia."

Alicia cast a quick glance at the sword on Octavia's back before reaching for her hand. She shook it and responded, "My name is Alicia. Nice to meet you."

"You wanna see my sword?" Octavia asked. "I saw you looking at it."

"I've just never seen someone actually wear a sword," came the brunette's simple statement.

"I get it, but times have changed, and these bad babes don't run out of bullets."

"You guys don't have guns?"

"They're not allowed. Well mostly not. Certain people have permission, but except for our scouts and raiding crews, we don't use guns."

"That explain's why the guard didn't take any of my knives."

Octavia grinned and gave Costia another hug, turning to leave. "Hey, come find me if you ever wanna learn how to wield a sword or show off your knife skills," Octavia said looking at Alicia before disappearing to where ever she came from.

"Octavia is one of our best warriors here. She's a good friend to have," Costia commented, watching Alicia carefully.

"I'll remember that. Are we meeting more of your friends then?"

"Nope. I thought you might want a hot shower and a change of clothes first."

Green eyes widened in surprise. "You have hot showers?"

Costia grinned, happy to spark anything other than remorse from her new friend. "Yep, I'll show you the way. I'll grab you a change of clothes while you're showering."

"Ok. What should I do with my backpack?"

"I'll take it with me to my place when you shower. It will be safe here. No one really steals."

There was a moment of hesitation, but Alicia finally nodded. She had already taken the risk to come here. Surely she could leave her backpack with the huntress. Costia had yet to prove anything but untrustworthy and nice. 

The huntress began a casual pace towards where what Alicia assumed was the training grounds. A few people nodded or smiled at her as they made their way through the cabin houses, although none of them had approached them like Octavia. Up ahead, there was a circular clearing surrounding a well with some people waiting in line with containers or buckets to be filled. Further north in the distance, a larger cabin could be seen with guards posted outside. Alicia suspected that the cabin belonged to their leader Wells. The girls were headed that direction, but after a few cabins, they veered west and followed a dirt path until they came to a wooden platform with five stalls aligned side by side. There were shower curtains as doors, but the rest was made from wood, much like most of Camp Jaha. Above and behind each stall were large black bags. They looked to hold about 30 gallons, and they had tubes and nozzles coming out from them. 

"Here we are! The communal showers. Some people have constructed their own showers for their houses, but for everyone else and new people, this is where you'll be coming. If you ever forget, just go towards the sound of the fighting. We placed them near the barracks for the warriors and guards on purpose. "Costia explained in one breath.

"Ok got it. Anything else?" 

"Umm, guess not. I'll be back in about ten minutes. I know it's probably not as long as you need, but we should conserve the best we can. Oh, and there should be soap in the stalls, and as for the rest, if you can't find/bargain/buy it, you're out of luck."

Alicia almost smiled as the huntress left. Costia seemed so carefree. Who still say's the slash part out loud anymore? And that bit about soap and shampoo was definitely a something else. Seeing as how the clock was ticking, Alicia went into the first open stall and closed the shower curtain behind her. She quickly stripped off her dirty and worn clothes and turned the water on. Lukewarm water hit her skin and before too long, the water had gotten a comfortable hot. Not scalding hot, like she used to take before everything went to shit, but the hottest one since the hotel outside Tijuana. 

Sighing heavily, the brunette closed her eyes and focused on the sensation of water running down her body. It was therapeutic and long overdue. She massaged her scalp, even though there was no shampoo. Alicia still liked going through the motions, almost as if showering were a ritual. Some old world comfort was needed. If she didn't have those to cling to, Alicia wasn't sure how she'd push on. Well, maybe that was a lie. Her father once told her in a lucid moment, 'When you feel like you're gonna give up, and you want to, just tuck your chin and keep moving forward.' Alicia remembered it. She also remembered that that was probably one of the longest sentences he had uttered to her. Her dad was either too fucked up, or more succinct; prone to reticence.

"You ready Alicia?" a familiar voice called out.

"...Octavia?" the brunette called back, snapped out of her reverie. 

"Yeah. I got clothes for you. I'll set'em just outside the curtain so you can reach them. I'll be here when you're ready."

Sure enough, along with a towel there were a clean pair of black jeans, a grey v-neck and a dark blue flannel. Hidden beneath the flannel shirt was a pair of boot socks. Alicia got dressed in her new attire and pulled back the curtain to reveal a sitting Octavia. The warrior quickly sprang to her feet and gave Alicia a once over.

"Lookin good girl. You're actually pretty hot. Not that I'm into girls or anything," Octavia declared after she was done assessing the brunette.

"Wouldn't it be 'not into women?' Pretty sure being into kids is a bad thing," Alicia retorted.

Octavia's jaw slackened for a moment before she burst out into laughter.

A little bit of weight lifted from Alicia's shoulders.

"Not only hot, but clever too. I think I like you, Alicia."

"But I thought you just said you weren't into women."

The last comment earned Alicia an eye roll. Grinning, Octavia motioned for the brunette to follow her, saying, "Ok, now you're just being a smart ass."

"Where did Costia go?"

"Wells wanted a word with her."

"Ok. So where are we going?"

The warrior turned to smile at Alicia, answering, "To get you a 'Welcome to Camp Jaha' celebratory shot and meet some more people. I know you're probably tired, but Costia told me that you spent a lot of time alone, so we thought it would be good for you to be around people our age."

The brunette felt a little unsettling in her stomach. She wasn't pleased that Costia had shared information with her friend, especially when it pertained to herself. The huntress surely didn't know it would make Alicia uncomfortable, so the brunette pushed the feeling aside, off into the background of thought. There was no reason to feel tense around these people, right? Or at least not yet.

"Earth to Alicia. You still there?" Octavia's voice interrupted.

Alicia snapped to. "What? Sorry," she mumbled in slight embarrassment. 

"It's alright. You ok? Do you not want to do this?"

"No, you're right. I need to tuck my chin and move forward."

That earned Alicia a smile. "I like your spirit. Well, let's go in. I'm sorry in advance for my friends. Some of them. Jasper specifically."

Not waiting for a response, Octavia pushed past two swinging doors into what was clearly the town bar. It reminded Alicia of some of the bars she had wandered through in her travels. The bar itself was a small cabin with two pick-nick tables inside. The bulk of it was through a back door that opened up to the outdoors, protected by rails and tarps. Lanterns hung from ropes that were entwined through the poles, with flowers and other random trinkets dangling here and there. There was a couch on the far end, a few two person tables, four pick-nick tables, and benches all along the outsides. All in all, it was quite impressive.

"Octavia! Who's the friend?" came a jovial voice.

Both girls turned to spot a Korean boy and a boy with goggles behind the bar. The latter was leaning over the bar, not trying to hide his interest in the new comer. 

"This is Alicia. She just got here today. Play nice boys," Octavia answered.

They walked over to the bar and the goggle wearing boy grinned at Alicia. 

"Name's Jasper, co-owner of this fine establishment. Will you be having beer, rum, moonshine, or moonshine?"

Alicia stared, unsure as to what to say. She never really had a chance to drink like most kids her age.

"Moonshine it is," Jasper continued, not missing a beat.

"Hi I'm Monty. The other co-owner. I make and distill the alcohol. How are you liking Camp Jaha so far?"

"The showers are nice," Alicia responded for lack of better.

"C'mon guys," Octavia interjected. "She's here to drink, not be questioned."

Jasper held his hands up in defense, a smirk on his face. He placed four small cups on the bar and poured each of them a shot.

"Want to make a game out of this? I'm sure we could recruit a few more people to drink with us and make it a party."

Monty rolled his eyes and gave Alicia an apologetic look, telling his friend, "Not everyone always want's to party. Maybe she doesn't even drink."

"It's ok," Alicia said. "What game will we play?"

Jasper grinned ear to ear and pulled out a deck of cards from somewhere behind the bar.

"How about a game of Asshole?"

"Oh god, not that game," Monty groaned.

"Asshole it is. You ever play Alicia?"

"Umm, once or twice. I'm a quick learner, so I'm sure I can figure it out after a few rounds."

Nodding his head sagely, Jasper moved everyone to the back patio, announcing to everyone present that a game of asshole was about to take place. They moved a few tables together and recruited a few more people to play. When everything was ready to go, there were about 8 of them ready to play. The deck was shuffled, and the rules explained. To decide who was president, everyone drew a card, and the highest card would be the winner. Octavia ended up being president, with Alicia as her VP. Some guy named Murphy ended up being the asshole.

The rest of the night was spent playing the card game. There were uproars of laughter, and even singing at one point in the night. At some point in time, music began to waft gently in the background, reminding Alicia of how much she missed music and ambient noise. The brunette was so wrapped up in playing the drinking game and making new friends, that she never noticed Costia quietly and happily observing from the side lines. They continued to drink until the late hours of the night. 

The last thing Alicia remembered was being told to drink, and then everything was black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's taken a minute to upload new stuff. I'll try to be better about it. Any motivation is greatly appreciated. Work is about to slow down, so maybe I'll be able to dedicate more time to story writing. Let's see, fun fact #3 moonshine doesn't make you blind. The story behind that, is that idiot's who distilled their own alcohol, didn't dump that first cup (Pretty much all ethanol) and so they went blind. Do not drink the first cup. Dump it, then enjoy.


	4. The Introduction

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alicia meets Wells.

The cold water lapped around Alicia's toes. She was standing at the edge of the ocean, looking across is never ending expanse. Slowly, she waded further into the water, submerging herself and floating on her back. Noises were muffled out, and a sense of peace and floating weightlessness encompassed the brunette. Then, she was sinking. The sun was warped from beneath the water, illuminating the murky depths. Down. She was sinking down. She couldn't breath. Try as much as she could, Alicia couldn't get any air. There was a sinking feeling in her chest, and then everything was growing too tight. Air. She needed air. The brunette tried to swim upward, but something was holding her ankles. Looking down, she saw eyeless zombies with fish eating whatever remained of their faces. Alicia looked up again, at the sun, and noticed she was no longer in an ocean of water. She was sinking in blood. Drowning in blood...

With a start, Alicia opened her eyes and fought the urge to immediately sit up. Another nightmare. She didn't know where she was, and feigning sleep until she got her bearings may not be a bad decision. The thumping in her ears grew dimmer as her heart slowed down. She was in an unfamiliar bed, surrounded by furs and still in the clothes she wore last night. 

Last night.

Alicia must have groaned aloud, because she heard a familiar voice call out, "Good morning! Finally awake? Just in time too. I have breakfast ready."

The brunette's stomach did and flip and she had to still herself for a moment to keep herself from vomiting whatever was in her belly. She wasn't sure she was ready for breakfast yet.

"Where am I?"

A giggle before, "You're in my house, silly. I practically had to carry you here. You were pretty wasted."

"I think I blacked out. Last thing I remember is taking a shot, and then a Queen song coming on?"

"Oh my, so you don't remember then."

"Remember what?" Alicia asked mildly alarmed.

Brown eyes twinkled in merriment. "You totally got on top of one of the picnic tables and started to dance. It was pretty hot to be honest. If technology were still around, I totally would have Snapchated it or something. It was too hilarious."

Alicia felt her checks grow hot with embarrassment. 

"Oh how cute! You're embarrassed! Don't be. It was fun."

The brunette frowned, finally realizing something. "Wait, how do YOU know what happened? I don't recall seeing you there."

This time, the huntress blushed. "I-uh, I didn't want to interrupt the game. It looked like you were having fun, so I watched from the sidelines."

By this time, Costia had set the table for two and poured some coffee. Alicia finally managed to pull herself out of bed and mussed her hair up before sitting at the wooden table. She idly ate some toast, focusing mostly on her coffee. There was a dull ache behind her bloodshot green eyes, but she wasn't surprised, considering the amount she drank. Costia dug into her food, taking small bites out of everything, watching the other girl carefully.

"So, Wells want's to meet you today."

Alicia raised an eyebrow in question. 

"You know, just to get the formality out of the way. There will probably be a few questions, but I've already told him about you, so it shouldn't be anything too invasive."

There she went again. "Why are you telling people about me?" Alicia asked, suddenly serious.

Costia's brown eyes widened in shock, "What? I-uh, well I don't know. People are curious and are gonna ask questions right? I was just trying to help you from having to deal with all of it."

"Well stop. I don't need your protection or help. You don't know a damn thing about you, and I don't even know if I can trust you guys yet. Why are you telling strangers my personal business? Shouldn't that be my prerogative? You take that choice away from me when you tell people things they don't need to know."

Alicia almost regretted how harshly the words came out. She knew Costia meant well, but she didn't think. However, looking into those hurt brown eyes was unsettling and made Alicia want to squirm. With a deep sigh, the brunette amended, "Look, I'm sorry. I've seen a lot of bad shit happen since the world went to hell, and I've been alone for awhile now. You can't expect me to just trust anyone again, no matter how nice they may seem."

The huntress smiled, but made no attempt to reply. The girls ate the rest of their food in silence, and once they were finished, Costia cleaned up everything. "You ready to go meet the Chancellor?" 

"Ready as I"ll ever be."

The huntress nodded and led the brunette out, not bothering to lock her door behind her. They made their way north towards the large cabin at the head. It took maybe fifteen minutes to get there, and when they reached the doors, a guard stepped forward and asked the girls to identify themselves.

"Costia Del Bosque, here to meet with the Chancellor. He should be expecting me."

"Wait in the atrium," the guard commanded before letting them pass.

The girls entered the cabin and were greeted by a fire in the middle of the room. There were three set's of doors, excluding the one they just came from. There were two guards standing in front of the northern doors, which is where Alicia assumed Wells was waiting for them. The woodwork was twice as good as anything Alicia had seen since coming to Camp Jaha with the exception of Costia's bow. Guess it paid to be in charge. They waited in the room for about ten minutes, with Alicia studying the craftsmanship and studying the cabin. Northern maple doors swung open and a handsome, if somewhat sleep deprived, man came strolling out.

"Greetings! Costia! It's good to see you. You must be Alicia?" Wells asked, looking at the stranger.

Alicia nodded, extending her hand out. Wells took it and shook it, "Nice grip," he commented.

Alicia almost let a smirk slip. Instead, she said nothing.

"How are you liking Camp Jaha so far?"

"You make a good drink."

Wells gave a hearty laugh before responding, "I see you've met Monty and Jasper, the co-owners of the Jobi Nuthouse. Don't like the name, if we're being honest."

"What's a Jobi?"

It was Costia who answered the brunette's question. "It's a tree nut that has hallucinogenic properties. When we first set up base here, we ate some and well, had quite the trip."

The brunette smiled in response.

"Why don't we talk in my office," suggested Wells.

Everyone made their way into Well's office, and Alicia got the impression that Wells was trying to recreate the feel of the White House. There were mirrored settees with a table in the middle, and a few chairs by the desk with flags in the background on either side. Wells went to his desk and half sat half leaned against the front, allowing the ladies to take a seat before him. He waited until they were settled before he resumed his formalities.

"So Alicia. Where are you coming from?"

"Mexico."

"Any destination in mind?"

"Not really."

"What happened to your group?"

There was a ringing buzz in Alicia's hearing. Slowly a tunnel of white invaded her vision, and her heartbeat grew faster. Alicia heard muffling cries as she was trapped in the locker behind a dead body. Heard her mom screaming Nick's name. Heard Strand calling out to her. Ophelia screaming. Seas of blood. Suddenly there wasn't enough air in the world for her to breath, almost as if she were drowning. Lucky for her, Costia spoke up instead. "She was alone when I found her. I think she was the last man standing."

Wells face darkened, and a heavy frown formed on his lips. He recovered quickly, trying to change the subject. "What did you do before all this?"

It took a moment for Alicia to calm herself down long enough to answer. "I was a student. About to graduate highschool."

"Major?"

"Nothing that matters now."

Wells cleared his throat, taking a second before continuing, "I ask this so that I can assess your potential contribution to the community. It works best if people are put into a field that they are good at, or at least passionate about. What do you want?"

The brunette looked at Camp Jaha's leader askance. "Is that question rhetorical?"

Sitting up from the desk, Wells came to crouch in front of Alicia. "Look," he started, "To be direct, you seem nice, but I can't have anyone here that's not willing to pull their weight. If there is something you like, I would love to let you work in that field. Otherwise, you're going to have to go through a week long orientation to find a job for yourself. The world is shit, I get it, but here at Camp Jaha, we are trying to make things more then just about surviving. So, any ideas on what you want to do?"

"I've always like art. But, I guess something that keeps me active. Something that takes me out there..so that...I can search for supplies. Kill the Walkers," Alicia said after a long silence.

Wells nodded before saying, "Great. We can get you started on boot camp here after a few days, get you trained to either patrol the perimeter or to go out on scouting missions. The latter would require searching for survivors, supplies, locations of future raids, spotting surrounding human movement, et cetera."

"Yeah that sounds good to me."

"Fantastic. You will report to Octavia in three days time to initiate your training. I'll send word so that she's prepared to meet you. Now, is there anything that I can do for you?"

Finally, Alicia let a smile escape her lips, but it was a sad one. "I'm afraid not," she commented.

"I see. In that case, enjoy your stay, and let me know if I can do anything for you."

The brunette smiled in response, and with that, the meeting was adjourned and the two girls made their way out.

"Not so bad, was it?" Costia asked, once they were back in fresh air.

For the first time, Alicia saw Costia. She saw the good natured soul before her. She saw the huntress that knew how to stalk prey and be patient. The brunette saw a woman that didn't fit in the times; someone who still cared for people. Before her, was an honest soul that wanted to be with Alicia. Casually, the brunette gazed at the huntress and noticed her toned body. She looked at the muscles that rested beneath the slightest layer of fat, stretching as if inviting the eye to wander her curves. Truly, Costia was stunning. And so far, she was the first and only person to take an interest in the wandering lost soul that was Alicia. She was kind to her. She was accommodating. Why was Costia so nice to her?

"Not so bad," Alicia finally confirmed.

Things were starting to slowly change around Alicia, and this time, she was coming to find that it wasn't as bad as she initially suspected. Maybe this time, life could be somewhat normal for a change. Maybe this time around, she could be safe. Maybe this time the brunette had found home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter was so short. I had more I wanted to put in it, but I feel like it would be better as another chapter, so here we are. Besides, I've been drinking tonight and even though it may not feel like a lot, 2 hours it a long time in the inebriated world. More to come! Let's see, fun fact #4 A beverage is considered alcoholic if it contains more than %.5 of alcohol by volume. The average ABV for a beer is %4.5. %11.6 for wine, and %37 for liquor. Fun fact#4.5: you can still get drunk after you go to sleep. Even after you pass out, alcohol is being released into your system.
> 
> S.A.:If you have a friend that has drank to much and is unresponsive to their name being called and pinching, etc, check for signs involving breathing, heart-rate and body temp. These could be signs of alcohol poisoning, and if you suspect that this may be the case, call 911 immediately. Turn them on their left side to help prevent asphyxiation. A stupid fine is worth less than your life. You can die by alcohol poisoning. Don't let it happen to you. Only YOU can prevent forest fires.


	5. Boot Camp

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Not a camp for boots.

The following three days passed in a blur. Alicia had spent the days shadowing Costia around the camp, getting to know the layout of Camp Jaha and it's residents. There were surprisingly a lot of younger people in the camp. If she had to guess, the brunette would hazard that half of them were in their 20's or late teens. Costia seemed to be friends with everyone, and Alicia found herself wondering if the huntress had been considered popular in her high school. 

Costia had shown Alicia the camp dorms, saying she could stay here until the brunette built her own house, or stay with the huntress and share her bed. The last part was a little rushed and accompanied with a deep blush. Alicia smirked and said she would feel better with less people sleeping around her.

The huntress beamed.

On the fourth day, Alicia fought the urge to groan as she rolled herself out from under the comfort of furs and into the brisk air. It wasn't just yet dawn, and it was the first day of her boot camp out of nine weeks. She felt a little too nervous to eat, so instead she stretched herself out and headed over to the training grounds. The temperature was growing cooler with every morning, indicating that the seasons were changing, and soon autumn would become the silent frosty breath of winter. Despite this, Alicia was in shorts with ankle socks and a sports bra. She wore a tank top over that, and had a wide headband on to keep her ears warm. The brunette couldn't stand cold ears.

Upon arriving at the training grounds, Alicia noticed there were a few other recruits already there, and so was Octavia. The warrior smiled when she spotted the brunette, but did not leave her post. As soon as Alicia drew in with the others, Octavia commented, "Good! You're all here."

Everyone looked around and saw just the four of them.

"Welcome to Boot Camp!" Octavia continued, not missing a beat. "For the next nine weeks, you will be training every aspect of your mind and body through rigorous exercise, combat training, weapons training, stealth, and team building exercises. If you want something easy, I suggest you quit now and go learn something else, because the next nine weeks are going to be the toughest you've ever experienced. However, if you make it through the entire thing, you will be a Grounder, able to handle anything that this biter infested world throws at us."

A young man with dark curly hair made his way next to Octavia. When he stood next to her, it was obvious that the two were siblings. "Listen up recruits!" he bellowed, picking up where Octavia had left off. "My name is Bellamy, and I'm going to be training you for the first 3 weeks of boot camp. We are going to focus and physical training and how to safely fire a weapon, as well as learn and correctly communicate simple commands that might just save you and your team out there in the wild. Week four to six will be instructed by Lincoln, one of the locals, and he will be teaching you hand to hand combat, along with nature skills so you don't get lost or starved in the wilderness. Or anywhere for that matter. Your final three weeks will be led by my charming sister Octavia, where you will focus on weapons training and recon. If you're lucky, you might even learn to ride a horse."

The four recruits shifted, remaining silent.

"You ready Grounders?" Bellamy asked.

One of the recruits gave a half hearten yeah. 

"YOU READY GROUNDERS?!" Bellamy boomed, demanding a response.

"YEAH!" all four recruits yelled.

With a grin, their instructor replied, "Good. I hope you stretched this morning, cause we're diving right in. Line up recruits!"

The four scrambled to form a line.

"Alright. Drop and give me twenty-five push ups!"

The recruits did as they were told, and Alicia felt a little swell of pride that she was able to do all of them. There was only one other girl with them, someone she thought was named Harper, and she wasn't even done before Bellamy shouted, "Twenty-five sit-ups! Go!" Everyone rolled onto their backs and finished, only to be told, "Twenty-five more pushups! Let's go recruits!"

By pushup ten Alicia was starting to slow down and feel the burn. Apparently she wasn't in as good of shape as she thought.

More sit ups. More push ups. More sit ups. More push ups. 

This continued for maybe a half an hour, but by the end of it, Alicia couldn't feel her arms, let alone do another push up. She was pretty sure she pulled a muscle in her abs. Judging by the winded groans of the others, they felt similarly.

"Alright recruits. Good job. Now fall in line and get ready for a two mile run."

With huffing and puffing, everyone lined up and Bellamy took off, leading the way with a casual jog. The sun was starting to light up behind the hills and trees, providing enough light for them to see the trail they were on. "This trail leads us to a lake a mile out. We're gonna circle around it and head back the way we came. Heard?!" Bellamy said, not even winded.

"Heard!" they all puffed.

They reached the lake, bombarded by sounds of crickets and frogs, and circled around. As they were headed back, Alicia noticed that Harper was slowly falling behind, and then eventually she was walking instead of running like the rest of them. Maybe it was because Harper was the only girl other than herself there, or maybe Alicia was slowly becoming a person again, but for whatever reason, the brunette slowed her pace and jogged in place next to Harper.

"Doin ok?" Alicia huffed.

Harper's face was read and she was struggling to breath. She managed to gasp, "I....hate....running."

Alicia smiled sympathetically. Lucky for herself she was pretty good at it, but that didn't mean it wasn't hard for others. "We're halfway done. We just need to keep moving," the brunette offered in comfort. 

Harper picked it up for about ten seconds before resuming walking again. "Just go on... ahead," Harper wheezed. 

Shaking her head, Alicia offered more advice. "I was always told to breath in through the nose... and out through the mouth. It helps control your breathing. Find a rhythm."

"It feels...like I'm...suffocating."

"It's all in the breathing. Trust me. Talking helps too. Believe it or not."

"I choose...not."

Harper picked up the pace for twenty seconds this time before resuming walking.

"Keep jogging," Alicia said.

"I can't," Harper proclaimed lamely.

"You can. Knees up, heart pumping. Even if you jog slower than walking...keep jogging. Keep your heart-rate up."

Harper's face twisted in pain, but she started her slow jog. They made it most of the way back with only a few stops for walking, and when the girls were within visual range of the finish line, Alicia turned to Harper and ordered," Home stretch! Sprint!" and pushed the other girl ahead of herself, following behind at almost a sprint. When they reached the finish, the other two recruits clapped in encouragement, handing them water. Bellamy told Harper to not lie down and walk around to cool herself off. Once everyone was cooled down, he brought them in and spoke, "Great job on the first day guys. I know it's rough, but it will get easier I promise you. Now, go get some grub and meet me back here at 11 o' clock. Dismissed!"

As everyone was disbanding, Bellamy called out, "Clark. C'mere for a moment."

Alicia went over to Bellamy, not sure how she felt about being addressed by her surname. "Yes?" she inquired.

"I just wanted to say, you did a great job looking after Harper like that. You beat me to the punch and showed some real initiative. That's the type of strength that's gonna keep everyone alive. You show promise, and I hope you don't drop out cause it's too tough."

For a moment the brunette just stared at her instructor, not used to receiving compliments anymore. "Umm, thank you Instructor Bellamy. I just did what I thought was best."

"Bellamy is fine," the dark haired man said warmly, resting a hand on her shoulder briefly, "and I'll see you in a few hours."

With that, he walked off and left Alicia alone. The brunette still felt where Bellamy's hand had been, but it didn't burn anger into her like it used to. Maybe she was changing after all. Making her way back to the cottage she shared with Costia, Alicia ignored the rumbling of her stomach and stripped down to her skinnies, crawling back under the furs next to the huntress. Costia shifted slightly and wrapped her arm around Alicia's waist, pulling her in closer so that they were spooning. The brunette felt her heart leap, but was too tired to do more than submit to the safe warmness and pass out.

A few hours later Alicia woke up to find Costia already gone. She picked up an apple and ate it as she made her way back to the training grounds. Her muscles ached in protest, and she secretly hoped they wouldn't be doing more push ups and sit ups. This time, the brunette was the first one there out of the recruits. Bellamy was standing behind a table with an assortment of guns laid out in front of him. The other three arrived and Bellamy gave a nod saying, "Ok gang huddle up."

Everyone went to the table and Bellamy began. "I'm going to show you all how to handle a few different types of guns, starting with safety. For those of you who know how to handle one, you're going to do through it again anyway."

For the next hour, Bellamy walked them through gun safety, telling everyone you always wanted to check if a weapon is loaded first thing, and to make sure the safety was on. Red is dead, as he said. Never point it at anyone unless you intend to shoot, and never put your finger on the trigger unless you intend to shoot. He showed them how to load a magazine and how the gun assembles and disassembles. He gave advice about using the sights correctly, and how to hold each gun securely, including proper stance. By the end of the hour, Bellamy felt that the group as a whole was competent. Alicia was a little disappointed that they didn't actually get to fire off any rounds, but ammo was probably scarce and it was the first day after all. The recruits were dismissed for the day, told to enjoy the rest of their free time and that they would meet back again tomorrow morning to do it all over again.

They did the same thing the next morning, and the morning after. For three weeks Alicia noticed as she went from barely being able to do fifty pushups, to hey I can kind of do this now. Her arms were starting to build and tone, and for a brief second the brunette wondered if Costia would notice. Her run time was improving, and even Harper could run the two miles now without stopping. A great improvement from the first day. Bellamy strongly encouraged his "Little Grounders" to continue to train even after they graduated from boot camp. The world was survival of the fittest, and he wanted them all to be at the top. 

The last three days of Bellamy's hell weeks, they actually got to shoot a weapon of their choice. Harper turned out to be a surprisingly good shot with the AR, and one of the guys whom Alicia now knew as Miller, was excellent as well. Alicia wasn't a bad shot with the rifle, but a pistol or revolver was where her skills really shined. Aden, the other recruit, seemed to be a natural at everything. The brunette found herself drawing strength from him, even though he was younger than herself. He inspired her to be stronger and better so that maybe next time she had to save someone, she would.

The next three weeks were spent under the tutelage of Lincoln. Alicia noticed that Octavia made a lot of guest appearances while Lincoln trained them in self defense, and eventually put two and two together. Some days the recruits were instructed in a few moves, then made to practice for hours to come, and others were spent sparring one another. On off days when they were too sore to fight, Lincoln had them hike through the forests and familiarized them with the local plants. Some could be used as medicine, some as sustenance, and some could kill you. They learned to make traps to hunt game, how to make fires, and how to recognize trails. Alicia was thankful for learning some of this with Costia. It made it easier for sure.

With less than halfway to go, the four recruits were starting to lift in spirits. Alicia had to admit that she was starting to bond with some of the people in Camp Jaha. One in specific. She couldn't remember when, but at some point in time, her and Costia had started to form more of a relationship. Alicia had warned the huntress that it was more for comfort and stability, not for the romanticism. If that was what she was looking for than maybe it wasn't her. Costia merely scoffed and kissed the other girl, not wanting to get into labels at the moment. They were already sharing a home and a bed. How could nothing NOT develop? Everyone else thought they were a couple, at least, that's what Alicia gathered listening to conversations when others thought she wasn't listening. Things like how Costia adored Alicia, or how she always lit up when Alicia entered a room. Something deep squirmed inside Alicia. She did like Costia, but she was definitely not in love with the huntress. Maybe for now it would be enough.

After their training with Lincoln was complete, the four recruits moved on to melee weapons training with Octavia. Alicia had discovered that Lincoln was a gentle soul that cared deeply, and it was strange to see his hardened self as he shadowed Octavia during their training sessions. He had a critical eye when it came to stance, and often gave the recruits constructive criticism when needed. Quite the opposite of his lover, who shouted insults and antagonized you until you were successful. 

All the recruits were trained in a variety of bladed weapons, but for the most part, they were encouraged to pick their weapon of choice and get to know that particular style. Since Alicia was more then adept with knives, more specifically throwing them, she focused on duel machetes, figuring it was more practical then duel swords. As her second weapon of choice, the brunette decided to learn how to wield a spear. Aden was naturally good with all weapons, Miller decided to go with an ax even though he preferred guns, and Harper decided to go with a Katana.

On the final day of boot camp, the recruits were informed they had one last test to perform before they officially became Grounders.

They had to draw blood from one of their instructors in a duel within 10 minutes.

With a gulp, Miller volunteered to go first.

"I choose Bellamy," he said in a tight voice.

"Then I choose single knife combat," Bellamy answered almost immediately.

The two were handed a Bowie knife and after situating themselves, Octavia called out, "Begin!"

Immediately Miller lunged, being easily side stepped by Bellamy, who used his free hand to push the recruit into the ground. Miller rolled and was back up on his feet in an instant. For five minutes this continued, both men visibly becoming more weary from the exertion of fighting. Eventually, Bellamy got up and close, moving to cut Miller on is outstretched arm, but to his surprise, Miller closed the gap, rendering his move useless and head butted Bellamy square in the nose. Blood poured out of his nose as Bellamy recoiled backwards automatically. Octavia called the match, declaring Miller the winner. Sure he didn't use the knife to draw blood, but he did draw first blood.

Drawing inspiration from Miller, Harper stepped forward and decided to go next. Alicia thought the flaxen haired girl would have chosen Octavia, being of similar size, but instead Harper choose Bellamy.

"Oh come on!" he exasperated with a growl. 

It suddenly occurred to the brunette that her fellow recruit chose Bellamy because he was already winded and tired. Smart. Alicia felt her appreciation for Harper grow a little. Of course, on the off chance that they would ever become enemies, it was good to know how the other girl might act. Knowing your enemy is half the battle after all. For now though, maybe Alicia could purvey hopeful thoughts and stop being so dammed paranoid. Maybe she did need to be around people. Being alone meant being alive. That's what she had begun to grasp after Jake died, and more so after her family died. Now, however, her mind was beginning to change.

Bellamy chose swords. "Begin!"

Similar to Miller, Harper adjusted her grip on the sword to use it in both hands. She raised it above her head and struck downward and forward whilst moving towards Bellamy. He parried her sword away and used her momentum to push her to the ground. After that, Harper was a little more cautious, throwing lateral feints and trying to get in more overhead strikes. Eventually, Bellamy faltered after trying to kick Harper in the stomach and grabbed his leg, pulling him into the hilt of her sword. Bellamy doubled over and Harper gave him a little knick on his shoulder. Octavia called the match.

Aiden went next, and he chose Lincoln as his opponent. With a laugh, the warrior declared, "Spears."

Watching the young boy fight was like watching one of those battle scenes in video games or anime. He was a whir of motion and staff, spinning it around like a bo-ken, attempting to Lincoln from seemingly every direction. Lincoln stood his ground, countering Aiden's moves without putting much effort in retaliating. Alicia suspected that inwardly he was worried about overpowering the boy, despite his strong and cool demeanor. Then suddenly, Lincoln moved forward in a series of thrusts and parries. Aiden moved back, trying to make his way around to Lincoln's flank. The warrior spun, cutting the recruit off. Aiden went back on the offensive, then Lincoln. It went on for what felt like forever, until at last, Aiden did a crazy flip over one of Lincoln's stabs and grazed the outside of his arm. It was a fine scratch. Octavia called the match.

"Look's like it's just you," Octavia said. "Who's it gonna be?"

Alicia bit her lip as she pondered. Turning her green eyes to the warrior woman, Alicia declared, "You."

Octavia raised an eyebrow, pleased. "Alright. We fight with duel swords."

Lincoln handed Alicia the two swords, and she immediately could feel the weight difference compared to the machetes. At least she would be familiar with the forms of wielding duel weapons. Octavia gave her swords a few swings for good measure. She grinned at the brunette. "Ready?"

Alicia nodded once.

"Begin!" Bellamy boomed.

Both girls stood where they were, eyeing each other down. 'I need to create an advantage,' Alicia thought to herself. Octavia began to move in a clockwise motion, moving closer to Alicia and forcing the brunette to be led in the same direction. Octavia threw a feint but the brunette ignored the move, switching from watching her opponents chest and eyes. There. She saw muscles contract and moved forward with a side swipe and lunge, trying to deflect Octavia's swing. The warrior saw this coming and pulled the swords momentum around herself mid-swing, narrowly missing Alicia's blade. Octavia brought the flat end of her sword across the brunette's back with a resounding smack. The force knocked Alicia to her knees as she fought back a scream and rolled out of the way. When she got back up on her feet, the brunette ignored the pain as she watched her opponent once again. Octavia was a pro. She had to get creative.

'Here goes nothing,' Alicia thought to herself as she raised both swords in defense. As soon as Octavia took a step towards Alicia, the brunette broke into a sprint, throwing one of her swords in the process. Octavia easily leaped out of the way, turning her gaze back to the brunette. The few seconds that Octavia took her gaze off Alicia was all the brunette needed. As the warrior dodged the whirling sword, Alicia slid into a sweeping kick, Wonder Woman style, knocking Octavia onto her back. The warrior landed with a resounding thump. You could hear the air leaving her lungs. Alicia scrambled on top of her opponent and held the sword to her neck. The two women stared at each other, breathing ragged as everyone watched in silence. Slowly, the brunette pushed the sword's blade into Octavia's neck until the smallest trickle of blood escaped. Octavia called the match.

Alicia stood and extended her hand down to help Octavia. The warrior took it and looked around to all the recruits, a giant smile on her face. "Congratulations recruits! Or should I say GROUNDERS!!!"

Everyone whooped in pride and celebration. "How about we celebrate with a round at The Jobi Nuthouse huh? Drinks on me!"

One drink turned into two. Two drinks turned into a night. Everyone got caught up in the merriment and story sharing, sometimes just straight out boasting. The night moved along nicely, but not wanting to repeat her first night at Camp Jaha, Alicia moderated herself better and eventually excused herself, looking forward to a day where she didn't have to wake up early. She made her way through the familiar darkness until she ended up back at the cottage she shared with Costia. When she opened the door, the huntress was reading a book by the fire in snug cocoon of furs. There was a plate of cheese next to her and an opened bottle of Cab Sav. The huntress turned to see Alicia and beamed. She motioned for the brunette to move in next to her. Alicia did so.

"I hope you don't mind, I started the celebration without you. Congrats btw," Costia murmured into Alicia's neck.

A shiver ran down Alicia's spine, and it definitely wasn't from the cold. 

"Thank you," the brunette admitted breathlessly, edging closer to the huntress. 

Costia slid her fingers across Alicia's abs, admiring their new tone, sketching circles with her nails. She heard Alicia give a small gasp and pulled her new Grounder into a deep kiss. The brunette responded by cupping Costia's face with one hand and placing her other one on the girls hip. The huntress groaned into Alicia's mouth and pushed her onto her back, straddling her. The fire flickered light across their faces, giving an almost ethereal look to the two women. Costia's dark brown eyes were filled with lust as she gazed down at green ones. Alicia was captivated, and rocked her hips forward in invitation.

"I love you," Costia admitted, for the first time.

A part of Alicia panicked. She didn't love Costia, and she wasn't ready for love, but she did want to be happy. Right now happy was with Costia. The brunette's lips split into a grin to cover up her verbal hesitation, and she responded aloud, "I know," then pulled the girl down into a kiss. 

They let their bodies, and a few expressive moans, do the rest of the talking.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey folks. Sorry it's taken me FOREVER to upload more stories. I promise to do better. There have been hurricanes and Pride, and new work training, and family health stuffs, and art pieces to complete. For good news, next chapter should be more entertaining. Question's? Comments? Conjectures? Inquiries? Let me know!
> 
> Fun fact #5: Honey is the only good that never expires. Take that.
> 
> More to tome!!! Thanks for the patience!


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